BAD WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE (NJIA ZISIZOFAA KATIKA KUTATUA MIGOGORO YA NDOA)

Video link: Njia zisizofaa katika kutatua migogoro ya ndoa

 BAD WAYS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE

(NJIA ZISIZOFAA KATIKA KUTATUA MIGOGORO YA NDOA)

1. Using power – The one who loses or is beaten is the culprit. It may be physical or financial power.

2. Charm – to make the husband run back home. A witch doctor gave a woman medicine to put in her husband’s bath water. The wife was surprised to hear something moving in the bathroom. When the husband poured half of it on himself, he became a snake.

3. Regrets and threats – Example: ‘I regret marrying you’. ‘If I had known……’. ‘If you don’t change, I will leave you!’.

4. Abuse of prayer – Prayer can solve many problems but not all. Other problems require discussion, clarification, forgiveness, and a willingness to change.

5. Involving relatives inappropriately – Consulting family relatives in finding solutions. Later you end up in mediators and courts.

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NJIA ZISIZOFAA KATIKA KUTATUA MIGOGORO YA NDOA

1. Kutumia nguvu (using power) – aliyeshindwa au kupigwa ndiye mkosaji (survival of the fittest syndrome)

2. Hirizi (charm)- kumfanya mume arudi mbio nyumbani. Kuna mtu alipewa dawa na mganga wa kienyeji ili amuwekee mumewe kwenye maji ya kuoga. Mke akashangaa anasikia kitu kinacheza bafuni. Kumbe mume alipojimwagia nusu akawa nyoka.

3. Majuto na vitisho (regrets and threats) - Mfano: ‘Najuta kuolewa na wewe’. ‘Kama ningejua……’. ‘Kama hubadiliki, nitakuacha!’.

4. Kutumia vibaya maombi (abuse of prayer) – Maombi yanaweza kutatua matatizo mengi lakini sio yote. Mengine yanahitaji kujadiliana, kufafanualiana, kuomba msamaha na kuwa tayari kubadilika.

5. Kuhusisha ndugu isivyofaa - Kutumia ndugu wa kifamilia katika kutafuta ufumbuzi. Baadaye mnaishia kwa wasuluhishi na mahakamani.

Dr. Lawi Mshana, Freelance Facilitator, 0712-924234, Korogwe, Tanga, Tanzania